to TF JADE
date Wed, Jul 14, 2010 at 9:57 PM
subject Chat with DJ Vox
9:57 PM me: You on?
DJ: allo?
me: howdy!
DJ: Hiya :)
9:58 PM me: you know I can't give in to your every wish, right?
DJ: Correct.. but I'm just saying in another way that....
sometimes I'm either dense or over cautious
9:59 PM Either way.. good info for you.
me: I am aware you like direct
sometimes "I am direct
DJ: I like when you jump me ;)
Makes me feel wanted.
10:00 PM me: I was rather direct, I think, unbuttoning your pants and putting you in my mouth
DJ: I was giving in.
me: !
!!!!!
giving in?!?!
10:01 PM DJ: It's very tough for me to accept spoiling like that...
3:1 ratio remember?
me: I THOUGHT you liked that sort of thing
now everything you've said since has implied you did not
DJ: Hold a sec... relax.
listen to what I am saying.
10:02 PM I'm the one who is always making sure that everyone else in the house has been served dinner before I reach for a plate..
do you understand what I'm saying?
it's not the ACT
it's feeling a little selfish being so spoileed.
me: do you have any concept of how turned on I was because of doing that to you?!
10:03 PM DJ: I'd hoped... but that is something that I'd love to knw about... that helps a lot.
me: now you've given me a complaex about it
complex
DJ: Nooooo
me: yeeeees
:(
DJ: relax.
We are both givers.
10:04 PM me: oh, and that's what I was getting at with the texting earlier -- where you said you might've lost the thread...
I assume it does not bother you if I do that to someone else
?
DJ: jealousy on my part....
?
10:05 PM me: would you be jealous?
or anything?
DJ: No comment.
10:06 PM Part of me is laughing.. I TOTOALLY missed that
me: Yes, comment!
DJ: oops
I had no idea where you were going.
<<< DUH
But if you think about it...
we have very few of those moments.
10:07 PM me: we do have very few of those moments, you're right
now will you comment please
DJ: You probed for my comment last night and didn't get one....
Much more subtliy
;)
10:08 PM me: if you do not comment then I am forced to decide for myself how I think you feel about it
which may or may not be correct
DJ: Ok let's game this out.......
me: I would rather you tell me
10:09 PM DJ: I could say I don't care...; in which case you could possibly read that as I don't care about YOU.... or take things very casually....
OR.......
I could say I DO care... in which case you could think I'm trying to manipulate your conduct or some such......
10:10 PM Or any reaction in between....
SO......
I have a quandry.
shit.. how the hell do you spell that?
me: can't you just answer?
quandary
10:11 PM DJ: Thank you.
me: welcome
DJ: thinking...
10:12 PM me: you have to think about it?
DJ: No.. I know the answer... I'm forming words.
precise words.
10:13 PM Gut level makes me jealous .......
painfully...
but....
I have no standing to say anything.
it's confusing.
10:14 PM and unexpected.
(unexpected in that you brought it up.... not that it's gut wrenching)
10:15 PM how's that?
me: decent answer I suppose
10:16 PM DJ: What would you have rather or expected to hear?
me: the flat-out truth
10:17 PM DJ: (or had rather?)
please.
oh.. you mean FROM me?
10:18 PM me: yes. don't act all.... whatever. you didn't answer right away
DJ: Heck.. I thought about it last night.
10:19 PM I know how I feel... stilll don't know if I expressed it well.
10:20 PM back in a moment.. have to run upstairs...
me: okay
when you come back... you thought about it last night? What do you mean?
10:24 PM DJ: so................
what are you thinking?
me: I want to know what you meant by you thought about it last night
10:25 PM DJ: Simply that your probe kinda got me in the belly... and I had to do a little introspection on jealousy and my place in your world.
AND of course.....
I wondered what you were thinking because there was NO way you said that without thinking or motive... I KNOW you ;)
10:26 PM me: what did I say?
DJ: You said that so and so (I forget the neck) prefered you take out the tongue studs.
oops
nick even
10:27 PM me: oh that. of course I thought about it before I said it but I don't know that there was anything behind it
10:28 PM DJ: Well with you even if it's in the back of your mind it means things.
Heck.. your subconcious is probably smarter than other people's concious.
shit..
My spelling is ass tonight.
10:30 PM me: your spelling seems about average tonight
DJ: I suck.
Spell check is my friend.
10:31 PM Way back when....
I used to write papers by taking a legal pad...
and writing double spaced...
I'd go through and circle the misspellings...
and spend hours with a dictionary.
Then have to rewrite...
etc...
10:34 PM me: doesn't your browser redline for you?
10:35 PM DJ: Yes it does...
but sometimes if I've retyped it several times I just let it go to keep the idea going.
10:36 PM me: I thought about you all morning and afternoon
serious thinking
it occurs to me that I am truly addicted to you
10:37 PM DJ: Is that a problem?
10:39 PM me: well, it makes it impossible for me to use n toss you if I wanted to
DJ: Ah...
So what are the options?
me: not sure...
10:40 PM I was going to just drop you
but I don't believe I could bear it
DJ: You indicated that today.
10:41 PM me: does that bother you?
DJ: Yes.
me: then I will drop you
DJ: Because it bothers me that you'd drop me?
I'm confused....
10:42 PM Or should I say the thought of being dropped.
me: I mean does it bother you that I couldn't bear it -- that I am that attached to you?
10:43 PM DJ: No, not at all.. I think it's pretty mutual.
I told you I'd be very sad if you got bored with me.
same as you said.
10:45 PM me: are you going to be able to see me this weekend?
10:46 PM DJ: Don't know yet. I've not been graced with the answer yet. Seems even though it effects things she KNOWS I need to do or not do that it doesn't matter that I find out at the last minute.
I'm sorry.
10:47 PM me: where is she supposed to go?
DJ: Dallas
me: what made her change her mind?
10:48 PM DJ: She's wishy washy on going... HS reunion.
the girlfriends she really wants to see, only one will be there...
so she's up in the air....
10:49 PM I'm like... "go.. have a good time..."
10:50 PM She'll continue to do the "cost benefit analysis till the last minute
me: annoying
10:51 PM DJ: She's more geeky than us in some ways.
10:52 PM Masters in Econ... quant geek... not quiet ocd but a list maker and follower... everything has to make sense... be economically sound etc.
anyway....
10:53 PM me: she is book smart then?
DJ: Very... most times common sense too.
10:54 PM me: what does she look like?
you have a picture of her?
10:55 PM DJ: Blond blue/green germanic
not conventionally attractive
sorta like me.
10:56 PM me: does that mean no picture?
I want to see what she looks like
10:57 PM DJ: No picture.
10:58 PM me: why not?
DJ: don't know.
10:59 PM me: :(
you don't trust me?
DJ: nooo It feels ike giving out someone elses phone number.
me: not the same thing at all
DJ: Ok.. hold a sec... let me see what I have on here.
stand by.
11:00 PM me: standing by
11:01 PM DJ: you've already seen her ;)
Just didn't know it
me: ?
11:02 PM DJ: I'm sure you looked at my web site, right?
me: barely
11:03 PM lower left
11:04 PM me: do you get stats on that site?
which lower left?
11:05 PM DJ: Bottom picture on the left... black dress talking to a couple
11:06 PM I'd have to dig for the stats... I don't do it often enough to remember how to do it quickly.
11:08 PM me: she is... not what I pictured
DJ: How so?
me: how old is she?
DJ: 37ish
11:09 PM me: ish?
11:10 PM DJ: Ok I'm never able to remember the year for sure...
so sue me.
we've almost 10 between us.
me: I'd rather do you
DJ: Me too.
put me on your to do list.
11:11 PM me: you are already
DJ: good.
me: how long have you been with her?
is this stuff too personal?
DJ: six years
11:12 PM me: that's it?
DJ: ?
should I have aid six ish?
me: I assumed longer
11:13 PM DJ: nah
Been about three to long.
me: yet you stay
DJ: Working on it.
11:14 PM tings are becoming untenable.
even she's going there from time to time... that's progress
11:15 PM me: what do you mean she's going there?
DJ: talking about how we don't get along...
11:16 PM Progress from "we can make it work" ...etc.
she clams up now because she doesn't want me to leave.. she's afraid of being alone.
me: would it bother you if she had a guy on the side like you have chicks on the side?
11:17 PM DJ: It amazes me how you wound me.
11:18 PM Anyway... I wish.
11:19 PM me: wound you? what are you talking about?
11:20 PM DJ: Anyway.....
me: how did I wound you? by asking if you'd be bothered by that?
11:21 PM DJ: The "chicks" implication.
LIke I have a harum or something.
11:22 PM me: maybe not a harem... but the evidence does suggest more than one chick
DJ: Anyway...........
11:23 PM me: stop anywaying me
DJ: Where were we?
Anyway is all I can do at the moment... you are to far away to swat on the ass.
11:24 PM or tickle.
me: okay... I'll let you deflect
DJ: "let you"
feh
11:25 PM me: feh nothing
DJ: :P
addicted huh?
building up a tolerance yet?
11:26 PM Is it taking more to get intoxicated?
me: no
DJ: Unusual.
11:27 PM me: you know how when you like someone, after a while you start to notice little things you don't like so much?
DJ: yup
me: I have the opposite problem with you
11:28 PM DJ: ?
me: I'm noticing more and more little things I DO like
such as wearing your watch correctly
heh
DJ: You did look amazed.
that and a particular kiss ( you looked more amazed)
11:29 PM me: I will never forget that kiss
not ever
never
DJ: tell me more
11:30 PM (please, of course is implied)
me: What more would you like me to tell you?
DJ: your thoughts on that...
11:31 PM Why it stands out to you.
11:32 PM me: it stand out in part because you are the first guy to do that
11:33 PM DJ: I told you... you thought I was bullshitting.
me: I thought no such thing
DJ: or self deluded.
I was more accurate than you though.. how about that?
oops
thought even.
11:34 PM me: will you go down on a woman after you've ejaculated in her?
11:35 PM DJ: In a heart murmer.
murmur even.
me: why?
DJ: Even while she has her period if it doesn't bother her.
because it doesn't bother me.
11:36 PM I've tasted my semen... it's not gross... it's a part of me...
If she's willing to accept that part of me then so am I.
I think it's very erotic.
me: so it's not just that it doesn't bother you... you like it?
DJ: I like the sharing.
11:37 PM If she also finds playing with it erotic.
it is ... as I said.. a part of me.
11:38 PM Just like her scent... her lubricating fluids are a part of her... I'd like for her to kiss me after I've kissed on her also....sharing.
or taste my fingers...
or taste herself on my cock...
nothing about any of this should be grotesque to anyone.
But I know for some it is.
Men that is.
11:39 PM just like they want to touch and fuck a womans ass but are freaky about anyone touching them...
Kinda silly I htink.
typing to fast again.
11:40 PM (I'm boring her again)
me: you are fascinating me
DJ: how so?
me: just the way you think
and what you are sharing
11:41 PM DJ: What do you think? most guys are wack about such stuff, right?
me: you would be okay if a woman played with your...
DJ: Just like some women are wack about cum... run to the bathroom and wash it of ... "EEWWW EWW W>>> It got ON me>>> EWWW!!!"
crazy.
11:42 PM I would be in total fantasy overload if woman played with my cum.
I fantasize about such things I think because I've been with someone who acted like it was fucking acid to her.
11:43 PM me: I've never known any woman to be that weird about it
DJ: how big is your sample size?
Guess I was just lucky and ran into a few winners.
me: what about a woman... hmmm... anally penetrating you with her fingers?
11:44 PM DJ: Heaven.... if she does it along with that slow erotic oral.
and some lube.
me: have you had that done?
DJ: once.
11:45 PM me: how long ago?
11:46 PM DJ: allo?
me: still here
DJ: what'd I miss?
me: did you get my last question... how long ago?
11:47 PM DJ: years
me: me: have you had that done?
DJ: once.
Sent at 11:45 PM on Tuesday
me: how long ago?
DJ: once.
Sent at 11:45 PM on Tuesday
me: how long ago?
5 years? 10? 17?
DJ: 5 ish
11:48 PM me: you know what makes me jealous? that you've got someone to have sex with whenever you feel like it
11:49 PM DJ: that would be great if it ever happend.
She's had no sex drive for years.
me: you already said you have a sex life
DJ: and even when she did it was NEVER when I wanted it... always on her terms.
WITH MYSELF
did you miss that part?
Me and porn.
11:50 PM me: what porn?
DJ: Thank god for DSL
me: hahaha
DJ: Sad truth is...
me: so, what, you are familiar with redtube I take it?
DJ: I never had need for porn the few times I was with someone who was keeping up.
had no interest in it.
11:51 PM Youporn, red tube, tube 8
even better is foxytube because it's mostly real and not produced shit.
not that I'm an expert or anything.
11:52 PM I thinkit's foxytube... either that or fucktube.
TMI at this point, right?
me: I am looking it up right now
never tmi
what do you mean by keep up with you?
11:53 PM DJ: Actually has a sex drive.... wants to knock knees every once and a while... comes up and grabs me and makes me feel like she desires me...
me: foxytube had pop-ups... I hate that
DJ: See... "she" and I are role reversed.
me: redtube has none of those
DJ: hold a sec
11:55 PM I'm the foreplay, romantic work up to things type...
11:56 PM me: do you prefer the before and after more than the during?
DJ: she's (when she wanted things) the "wam bam fuck me now and get it over in five minutes" type
I want it ALL.
11:57 PM Don't want to be without any of it.
Heck.. I understand the allure of a quicky...
or even one sided stuff if you are playing aorund...
But not wham bam all the time...
feels empty.
11:58 PM I'm nuts right?
me: was it always like that with her?
nuts? no. kinky? most definitely.
DJ: It was pretty much time to stop just when I was getting into the groove so to speak.
12:00 AM me: why are you not a porn actor?
DJ: Oh stop..
me: seriously
DJ: Oh I'll tell you why...
me: okay, tell me
DJ: NO normal guy is going to be with someone he wants to make love with..
12:01 AM and pull out from either oral... or fucking or ass sex at the last moment and stroke himself off.
fuck that.
Now...
If you are with someone and she want's to see you do that for her... every once and a while to give her that.. I totally understand and would do that for her..
but that is NOT and optimal orgaasm.
oops.
12:02 AM Someone even has a serises of clips on one of those sites that is called...
me: you think it's better to do that entirely alone?
DJ: "No Hands" and it all either girls using thier hands etc...just not guys jerking off.
What do you mean?
12:04 AM me: I mean given the choice between sex with a live girl and ending with 30 seconds of masturbation or masturbating sans female the whole time, you'd choose the latter?
(sorry if that's not clear... was having a difficult time typing it out)
12:05 AM DJ: Oh no.. what i"m saying is that HER causing the orgasm is much better than ME doing it.
her hand.. her mouth.. etc.
IN the porns, those guys are so jaded they can't get off by what the girl is doing.. very sad.
me: but if both end with you doing it... wouldn't you rather start it with another human being?
12:06 AM DJ: You are missing the point.
IN porns the man always makes himself cum by jerking off (generally)
It's much better if the girl does it to you no matter what the act.
me: I'm trying to understand really. I'm sorry if I'm not getting your point.
12:07 AM DJ: it's not a preference between masturbating alone vs. any sex with a person.
12:08 AM it's that NO normal guy would prefer to jerk himself off if he has a willing partner there to make him orgasm in whatever fashion be it vaginal, anal, oral, hands hair whatever.
Porn actors are so jaded that they most times cannot cum from whatever a girl is doing for them.
yuk
12:09 AM Thus, I'd not make a good porn star.... which is where we started.
Orgasm induced by your lover is ever so much better than by yourself.
12:10 AM But also, I'd masturbate FOR someone if she got off on seeing it....
Many ways to get thins done for each other.
and..............
I'm shutting up.
12:11 AM me: you are as opinionated on the sexual as I am on Law Enforcement
DJ: Did I make it a little more clear?
exactly
me: I feel that I cannot live up to your standards, expectations, whatever
12:12 AM DJ: How the heck can you say that?
Fuck.... a DRY HUMP with you is better than a lot of actual sex that I've had.
You are so sensual and erotic in your own way.
12:13 AM do not sell yourself short.
me: that was the worst backhanded compliment I've ever gotten. it's practically an insult
DJ: Heck.. just the way you jumped up on me at the lake was SOOOO damn good.
:)
me: yikes
ouch
DJ: ?
12:14 AM What?
If you took somethjing that way, that is NOT how I intended it.
What I'm saying is htat LITTLE touches from you are so loaded with erotic potential...
12:15 AM Damn I hate this... every once and a while you totally take things I say wrong... :(
And it's never been what you thought it was.
12:16 AM (bad that is)
12:17 AM Now. if it's the comment about the dry hump you are talkking about... I'm comparing INTERCOURSE not oral sex.
me: I don't necessarily take them wrong... if I took them wrong I wouldn't say anything about them... if I discuss them, it is only because I do not want to take them wrong and I'm trying to clarify... I wish you would not get frustrated at me for doing that
12:18 AM no, not the dry hump comment...
the "in your own way" one
DJ: Ok... please tell me so I can see what I said wrong and correct it.
12:19 AM oki...what's wrong with telling someone that they are unique?
You have a speical magic about you that's unlike any other... to me that's a huge comploiment.
me: that isn't how it came across
DJ: I'm sorry.. that's the only way I could understand it.
I'll try to be more careful.
12:20 AM me: "You are so sensual and erotic in your own way."
DJ: Meaning remarkable... unique.. special...
me: it's like telling a girl "you're very pretty in your own way"
DJ: Ohhhhhh... shit.
I see.
:(
me: it implies she's ugly
DJ: NOt how I meant it.
jeebus.
12:21 AM sorry :(
did NOT mean it that way... do you understand how I did mean it now?
12:22 AM me: listen, I know you don't get this, but my husband severely damaged me... to the point where I don't even let anyone see me bare
not ever
DJ: I gathered something along those lines.
me: so, yes, I am sensitive about things said or done in sexual areas
12:23 AM DJ: There's nothing wrong with you though.. I have my own littel hang ups as we've talked about.
12:24 AM me: there is everything wrong with me in that way... you just haven't seen
that is the part that I can't get past
foreplay... all good... sex... all good... completely confident there
12:25 AM the part where a man can see me?
can't do it
DJ: dark?
me: yes
even then
very scary
terrifying in fact
:(
12:26 AM DJ: (digesting)
But you look SO damn good.
it's confusing.
me: an illusion I assure you
12:27 AM DJ: No .... I've got a pretty good eye.
(I've checked you out when you were not looking)
me: how so? you are limited in what you've seen
12:28 AM DJ: I have a good eye for figures... I've already made love to you in my mind....
Kissed every square inch of you..
spoiled you the best I can.
There's nothing wrong with you at all.
12:29 AM Heck... my hands at one time or another have been ALMOST all over you.....
My own inventory so to speak...
12:30 AM But I'll be quiet now.
me: if you get quiet now... no one will be typing
12:31 AM I am only trying to give you a heads up so to speak
12:32 AM DJ: Ever hear of the place that serves you food in total darkness?
me: much in the way I warned you about odd hair and tattoos
yes
DJ: Well I've never been but it sounds doable to me...
me: :)
12:33 AM you are very sweet
DJ: so are you.
So my prescription is....
naked cuddling in the dark.
What say you?
12:34 AM me: sounds delightful
DJ: :)
anything else is gravy
12:35 AM Can't promise I can keep my lips totally to myself either... it's sorta natural...
me: your mouth is free to roam
12:36 AM DJ: Hmmmmm :)
still no orgasm though?
me: no
DJ: Hmmmmmm..
Ok...
12:37 AM (could just happen though.. sometimes you can control such things...)
oops.. can't even.
me: that I can completely control
DJ: feh
;)
12:38 AM Leave open the poissblity that you'd change your mind.
12:39 AM me: you have enough power over me... I'm not giving you more
DJ: It's not power....
It's a GIFT I'd want to give to you...
and take nothing away.
12:40 AM just think on it..
it's sleepy time.
As always..
thank you...
:)
me: :)
DJ: really... there's no power in shared pleasure.
just the joy of giving.
12:41 AM me: there is power in removing my ability to think and to think clearly
DJ: But I told you that.... a small moment of clarity and quiet in your head.. I'd love to give you that.
12:42 AM your world condensed to one white hot part of you...
anyway..
you think abotu it.
no pressure.
ok?
me: okay
I would love to see you this weekend
12:43 AM as if I haven't said so a hundred times already
DJ: I'll do my best.
Message received.
:)
cya... :)
me: bye
