to TF JADE
date Mon, Sep 6, 2010 at 10:16 PM
subject Chat with DJ Vox
10:16 PM DJ: Hola
me: why do you worry about me?
10:17 PM DJ: because "this" is taking a toll on me so it must be on you also.
I don't like not being able to give you what you want when you want it.... no matter what it is... even if ti's a few moments of chat.
It's unfair and makes me sad.
10:19 PM me: See? That is what I don't want
DJ: Can't help it.
10:20 PM me: but if it's "taking a toll" on you, you will drop me
:(
10:21 PM DJ: I thought you'd turfed me yesterday. Heck I think even YOU thought you did.
10:23 PM me: No. I live to find ways to work around obstacles.
By time I got home, I resolved my issues with you
10:28 PM DJ: so anyway.
me: are you trying to make me end "this" with you?
DJ: No.
10:29 PM Fact is I don't know what I'm doing.
:(
shit.. I can't even type. :(
10:30 PM blah.. I keep typoing.
me: you seem to be typing fine
do you want to be with me?
10:31 PM DJ: takes forever and thank God for the backspace key (I had to backspace on "backspace" three times ...)
10:32 PM I want my mess to be over with. If my life were not a mess I could ask you out loike a normal person.
In the mean time it's not right for me to say I want anything.
me: that makes me feel you don't want me
DJ: That's not true.
10:33 PM me: it's still how it makes me feel
DJ: But it's tough to say "yes" when I can't make it happen.
me: you make it happen when you email me and text me and see me
don't you get that?
10:34 PM DJ: But then you get sad... and think you are being used. :(
10:35 PM me: so? fine, use me. I don't care. it's better than not having you at all.
DJ: meantime I stress.
I'm working on it... honest.
10:37 PM me: I'm trying to keep you from stressing! you don't have to stress.
DJ: I'm working onit.
10:38 PM Don't stress ... then it will be both of us.
me: what is the most stressful thing?
DJ: My sucky life.
it was a bad day here today and I don't even want to talk about it.
I'm just a total fuck up.
10:40 PM What are your hours tomorrow?
me: standard ones
you aren't leaving me now are ya?
10:41 PM DJ: Yes... I need to sleep. Call in the morning?
me: please do
DJ: Ok.. I'll text first.
ty for the talk.
me: was a downer of a talk
shouldn't thank me for it
10:42 PM DJ: I'm just goofy that way.
me: sleep well
DJ: tomorrow. :)<<< small smile.
me: :)
DJ: bye
